I think I’m beginning to understand the concept of visiting someone for no other purpose than having a casual chat with them.
Perhaps it may seem strange to you that someone would struggle with this concept, and if that’s true, then I envy you just a bit. To me, talking for the sake of talking has always been strange, and I often find myself bored, frustrated, or otherwise stressed, any time I’m at someone’s house and we’re not actively doing something other than talking.
I understand casual chatter when passing someone in the hall at school, or when using the break room at the same time; or perhaps just when you work at the next desk over and your work doesn’t strictly involve language, so chatting is easy. That makes sense, because the conversation is facilitated by a sort of carrier activity.
But when I’ve gone to the trouble of driving to someone’s house, or if I’ve invited them over, and we’re not playing a game, or watching videos, or enjoying some new wine they just bought? It always strikes me as odd, which is further confounded by the way I find television distracting, but other people seem to need it to enjoy themselves. Perhaps they are experiencing the same phenomenon from a different angle.
I suspect it is largely in part to the secluded, very rural nature of my childhood home. IWe lived very far from most of our relatives, and since my parents were often too busy to drive me places, visiting friends was always at least a 20 minute bike ride away. If I was going to visit anyone, it was to try out a new video game, or to watch a movie, or for a birthday party. There was always an activity that allowed for conversation.
When my relatives visited, it was always accompanied by a card game like Rumme or Cannasta at the very least, if not a more involved and colorful system like Monopoly, Catan, and others like that. Maybe there were a few times my uncles would visit on their way through to a different destination, but they always chatted with my parents while I played a game or read a book.
Now that I’m an adult, and most of my relatives see me that way as well, I’m beginning to notice more and more an expectation that visiting someone for a chat is just a normal thing, and it’s taken me a while, but I think I’m starting to get it. We live so near to each other. I can’t think of a single person on my wife’s side who lives more than 20 minutes from where I am now; considering the fact t
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